Home » Uncategorized » Why did I put myself out there?

Why did I put myself out there?

I don’t think I am ready for this. I am trying hard not to focus on the negative, but I can’t help it.

So I released my crowd-funding project yesterday… that’s right, less than 24 hours ago. I have had 2 people bid (one bid twice!) and raised $45 (although my goal is $70 a day). So I should be happy, right?

Well I am convinced I am not going to raise the $3000 or something will go wrong… I am upset because I have a list of people who put in an ‘expression of interest’ on the deck before I even finished it. You’d think they’d jump at the chance to finally buy it! But NOOOO not ONE of them has put in a bid. Even after I emailed them and offered them the exclusive deal.

Do they actually like the deck or was it all just talk?

Please, can anyone help me? How do I get people interested enough to help me raise the funds? Everyone I know seems to be stingy. I can’t even have a Tupperware party where anyone rocks up, because they’re all afraid of parting with their money. What upsets me more, though, is how many of my friends haven’t shared the project (even if they can’t afford/don’t want the deck themselves). There have been COUNTLESS times I have shared posts to help increase likes for pages, photo competitions, other competitions etc.etc. and many of them have won in the process.

No wonder my self esteem sucks. The world is so self absorbed and I feel as though no one cares about me. But then, why should they? And if they shouldn’t care about me, why should I care about me?

Really, in hindsight, I am not ready to put myself out there. The world doesn’t care enough about me to hold me up in this emotional state. Here’s prayers and fingers crossed for me to get through this unscathed – that or a real miracle to boost my esteem.


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